Edition · March 19, 2024

Trump’s Bond Panic Meets a Court Date It Can’t Bluff Past

March 19, 2024 gave us a clean Trump-world snapshot: the former president was still trying to wriggle out of a massive fraud judgment, still leaning on the usual performance art, and still finding that courts are not his fan club.

On March 19, Donald Trump’s legal team told a New York appeals court it had struck out with roughly 30 surety companies while trying to secure the bond needed to pause collection of the $454 million fraud judgment. The filing intensified the sense that Trump’s self-presentation as a cash-heavy kingpin was colliding with the very boring reality of underwriting, collateral, and deadlines. The day also featured fresh fallout from Trump’s election lies and another sign that his legal calendar was squeezing his campaign calendar into a pretzel.

Closing take

Trump spent years selling the myth that he was too rich to be boxed in by ordinary rules. March 19 showed the opposite: he was boxed in by ordinary rules, and they were getting closer.

Ranked by how bad the fuckup was

5 stars means maximum fallout. 1 star means a smaller self-own.

Story

Trump’s bond hunt hits a wall, and the wall is called math

★★★★★Fuckup rating 5/5 Five-alarm fuckup

Trump’s lawyers told a New York appeals court they had been unable to line up a bond for the $454 million civil fraud judgment, saying they had approached about 30 surety companies without success. The filing sharpened the risk that the state could move toward collecting on the judgment if he could not secure a stay.

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Story

Trump’s immunity gambit keeps stretching the law until it squeals

★★★☆☆Fuckup rating 3/5 Major mess

Trump’s legal team kept pressing the argument that he could not be prosecuted for election interference unless he was first impeached and convicted by the Senate. The theory underscored how far his defense was willing to push presidential power in order to wall off accountability.

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